Drowsy Mornings

     I felt like a shitty dad this morning.  Lola waking up every couple hours has our nerves frayed even though we know it's because her gums hurt or itch and she's just so uncomfortable.  But then waking up in the middle of the night with her screaming just made me feel so stressed and I cussed and Lucy held her, trying her best to be patient also.
     So I put my head back on my pillow after the screaming subsided, feeling like an asshole, and looked at my daughter.  She was laying with her head on Lucy's chest, just looking at me with her big red eyes.  Sort of hiccuping as she drifted back to sleep.  My heart broke a little bit.
     Then later, after Lucy went to work and Lola woke up again, I laid her on my own chest and just felt her breathing, trying to get comfortable.  Her little face twisting back and forth, deciding which side felt better. 
     When she started stirring again an hour or so later I braced myself for some more tears.  Instead she sort of propped herself up on my chest, looked me in the eye and gave me a big toothless grin.
     We played for a while and I changed her and took her to her little bouncer in the living room.  She watched as I bummed around the apartment, trying to clear the morning fog.  Every time I looked back she'd give me the same grin and bounce a little harder.
     I think she forgives me...